How to tell who likes who the most
If you’re in a group of people who all know each other, like friends or colleagues, pay attention to who they look at when you’re all laughing. If someone is telling a funny story or a joke, people tend to automatically make eye contact with whomever they feel the closest to.
But bear in mind; the opposite is also true. If everyone is laughing and you notice no one is making eye contact with you, chances are you’re the least popular of the group…
Look into someone’s eyes when you don’t trust their answer
If you ask someone a question, and don’t like or understand their answer – look into their eyes and just pause instead of asking more questions. This will make them feel a little pressured, and they will then be compelled to explain or elaborate on whatever they just said.
Us humans are highly sensitive to even the most subtle social cues, and prolonged eye contact in this kind of situation subconsciously communicates to the other person that you’re not happy with their answer – without you having to say so.
Give yourself less choices when struggling to make a decision
We think we make better choices when we have as many options as possible, but plenty of research has proved the opposite is actually true. Too many options overwhelm and paralyze us, which makes us miserable.
So whenever you’re trying to make a decision about things big and small, give yourself less options, and a limited time to decide which to choose. This will help you stay proactive in life, instead of stuck in perpetual indecisiveness.
How to ace that first date
The most common advice for a good first date is the pretty useless “be yourself”. Not only is it vague, it’s hard to completely be yourself with those nerves getting in the way. But, there are more practical steps you can take to increase chances of your date liking to you.
A psychological phenomenon known as “misattribution of arousal” means that people mislabel what’s getting them excited. So if you pick an exciting activity for a date, like an escape room or theme park, the excitement of the activity will rub off on your date’s impression of you.
Make someone rude become self-conscious
If someone is yelling at you, and you need them to stop immediately, just cut them off by saying “hey, I think you have something stuck in your teeth”. This will make them stop abruptly, and feel super self-conscious and awkward instead of angry at you. It will also most likely mean they excuse themselves to go find a mirror.
This trick should be used as a last resource, as it’s of course better to handle a situation like this with mature, calm communication.
Ask for a favor by saying ‘I need your help’
People enjoy feeling needed, and also hate feeling guilty. You can use this to your advantage, by being mindful of how you phrase asking for a favor. Instead of just saying “can you do this?”, start by saying “I need your help”.
This makes the request more personal, and using the word “help” reduces the likelihood of them saying no. The more personal approach makes them feel needed, and denying giving help to someone is guilt inducing.
How to look confident at a party
This is a great tip for all you introverts out there. If you find mingling at parties super awkward, chances are you also look very uncomfortable and insecure. This will decrease the chance of people approaching you, and of you then actually having fun.
One way to look more open, friendly, and confident in a situation like this, is to make sure you’re not holding your drink up by your chest. Instead, try to casually hold it down by your hip. Works like a charm!
Pretend to be open-minded to win people over
It’s easier said than done to be open-minded, and most of us aren’t as accepting of different opinions as we’d like to think. But faking it also works.
In other words, when discussing a topic with someone, and you think their opinion is insane – pretend to be accepting and open-minded, instead of becoming defensive or openly showing how stupid you think they are. If you appear to be sincerely considering their opinion as valid, they are more likely to be open to your point of view, and might even start agreeing with you.
Look at someone’s lips to show them you’re interested
We’re not saying you should intently stare at someone’s lips, that will make them feel uncomfortable. But a few glances once in a while, and letting them see you’re doing it, is a good way to signal your interest while on a date.
This is great when you’re trying to gauge someone’s interest back at a first date, as touching someone’s arm or hand might feel a little too forward. If you catch them glancing back at your lips, you can be pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
Use proximity to make an intimidating person feel uncomfortable
If you’re about to have a meeting with someone who has a bit of a temper, and discussions with them tend to get heated – sit right next to them. This feels counter intuitive, as you probably want to run and hide, or at least sit as far away as possible. But sitting close to them will work to your advantage.
Proximity is intimidating, even to the seemingly most confident and themselves intimidating people. It will make them less likely to raise their voice or take out their bad temper on you.
How to stop beating yourself up over old embarrassments
Whenever you feel mortified that you slipped and fell right in front of your high school crush, or had the entire class laugh at some word you mispronounced, this hack is a life saver.
Stop yourself from reliving and cringing over what happened years ago, by trying to remember something embarrassing someone else did. Most likely you can’t! So that means no one remembers your past blunders – everyone is too busy obsessing over their own.
Remember people’s names to become more popular
People have a deep need to feel loved, and even though we can’t love everyone – there are easy ways to make others around us feel seen and special.
Make a habit of quickly memorizing people’s names when you’re at a new job or in a new group of people. Then frequently use their names in conversation. Saying to your colleague “Hey David, want to go get lunch?” will make them feel instantaneously special and you will be more special to them in return.
How to make a lie more believable
If you need to lie about something, an easy way to make the lie more believable is to add a small embarrassing detail about yourself. Subconsciously people don’t think anyone would lie about something that’s embarrassing or negative about themselves, so it makes the lie more convincing.
The opposite is also true. If you’re exaggerating, or perhaps boasting about something awesome you did, it’s very likely to be met with suspicion as to how true it is.
Play stupid to make someone stop make fun of you
A joke stops being funny if it’s repeated and explained too many times. You can use this to your advantage if someone is making a joke about you, or at your expense, and you’re not enjoying it.
Just keep saying “what? I don’t get it” to make them repeat what they said over and over again. Very quickly any laughter will die down, and the person telling the joke will be the one looking silly instead of you.
Chew gum when you’re nervous
Our brain is wired to think we’re safe when we’re eating, and also, food is comforting. So, chewing gum will trick your brain to calm down a little. So this is a perfect trick to calm those nerves a little right before a test, job interview, or date.
But, make sure you have studied properly, or all the gum in the world won’t save you from failing. And make sure to take the gum out before that job interview, or you’re not gonna make a great impression!
Double Date
There’s a disturbing saying that claims that when a man is dealing with two women, he will always choose the one with a “weak mind”. While we’re not sure this is always true, it is possible that a weak man may opt for the partner who will challenge him less.
Therefore if you’re ever in a love triangle and end up being the one left out in the cold, take courage from the fact that the guy was too weak to be your match. A stronger man who truly deserves you is just around the corner.
How to know when a narcissist is targeting you
A narcissist who perceives you as a threat will utilize a predictable playbook to take you down. This includes tactics like gaslighting to make you doubt your reality, smears to damage your reputation, isolation to cut off your support network, criticism to undermine your confidence, and intimidation.
By identifying these strategies, you can protect yourself from manipulation. Stay grounded in your perceptions, maintain connections with trusted friends and family, and don’t let unfounded criticism shake your self-esteem. Remember, these actions are a reflection of their insecurities and not your self-worth.
Try to memorize eye colors
Whenever you’re introduced to a new person, take note of their eye color while shaking their hand. This is not because you actually care about remembering the color.
It’s a clever way to achieve the perfect amount of eye contact; more than the quick, indifferent glance people usually give, but less than what you give during deep conversations with friends. This optimal length of eye contact makes you seem more friendly and confident.
Never say “I’m sorry” when working in customer service
Working in customer service usually involves dealing with a lot of angry and frustrated people, who have complaints about a product – and take it out on you. Many people automatically apologize to the costumer, even though it’s not their fault, and this is not the best approach.
Instead say things like “I understand this is frustrating, thank you so much for your patience”. This moves focus from the problem and compliments the caller, something that should help appease them.
Stare at someone’s forehead to intimidate them
We’re not saying it’s a good thing to try to intimidate someone. But, should you want to – staring at their forehead is a good place to start. It makes people very uncomfortable, as it both makes them worry they have some dirt there or something, and it’s also very belittling.
This works whether you’re taller or shorter than the other person. But please use this trick with caution. As intimidating as it is; it could also provoke the person and escalate the situation.
Make sure your hands are warm before shaking hands
Interestingly enough, people subconsciously link cold hands with mistrust and suspicious behavior. So if you’re in an important business meeting and want to make a good impression, make sure your hands are warm before shaking hands with the other participants. Also make sure they are dry!
Clammy or cold hands will make you seem both nervous, and less trustworthy – not exactly what you want to communicate in your career (or personal life either for that matter.)
Stare straight ahead when you’re in a hurry
Most of us walk quickly when we’re in a hurry, but also mumble “excuse me” left and right to get people to move. But, polite as that is, it’s not the best way to ensure people get out of your way.
Instead, hold your head high and set your gaze straight ahead, as if no one exists in your line of sight. Before you know it, people will make sure to get out of your way.
The way to win in ‘rock, paper, scissors’
We have no idea why this works, but just try it and see for yourself! If you’re about to play rock, paper, scissors with someone, and want to increase your odds of winning – ask them a random question right before you start.
This tends to throw them off, they forget to focus on the game, and are more likely to choose scissors (again, we have no idea why!). Since you know this will happen, you can strategically pick rocks to win.
How to get someone to carry something for you
If you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone, and you as they’re talking hand them an object – they will take it from you and not even notice it. The opposite is also true; hold out your hand, and they will hand you whatever it is they’re holding.
A split second after they take, or give you, the object they will realize what they just did and be completely dumbfounded. Definitely a good way to get a good laugh, for both of you.
Mirror people’s body language to get them to trust you more
Make sure to be subtle with this one, or it will turn into a charade and they will call you out (or think you’e a creepy weirdo). But body mirroring, when done subtly enough, subconsciously makes the other person feel as if you’re someone familiar who can be trusted.
This hack is especially useful when you work in sales or in any profession where you need to gain people’s trust in order to close deals.
Check the position of someone’s feet when talking to them
When you’re in a conversation with someone, glance at their feet. If they’re facing you, then they want to be there and are engaged in the conversation. But, if the feet are turned away to the side – the person’s mind is miles away, and they just want to get out of there.
This isn’t necessarily because they don’t like you, or the topic of conversation. But it definitely means they don’t have the time or desire to be having it in that moment.
How to stop people from interrupting you
People who interrupt you, especially in a work setting, often do so as a bully tactic, to assert their dominance and make you feel insecure. The best way to stand your ground is to neither stop talking, nor raise your voice.
Instead, just continue talking at the exact same tone of voice and pace as you were before, completely ignoring their attempt to shut you down. That will make them feel awkward, as they’re being ignored, which will most likely shut them up pretty quickly.
Don’t look at the people you don’t want to be seen by
Let’s say you popped out to the store by your house to buy milk, wearing your ugliest sweatpants and no makeup. And then to your horror, you notice your crush is in the store. Don’t panic, don’t look at them, don’t even glance.
Just completely ignore them, and most likely they won’t notice you (as long as you don’t walk right in front of them). We subconsciously notice if someone is looking in our direction, and look back. So not looking at someone, is the best way to avoid drawing their attention to your presence.
How to get someone to agree with what you’re saying
Nodding while explaining your idea or opinion on something, will increase the likelihood of the other person agreeing and going along with what you want. This is because we subconsciously associate nodding with facts.
Now, don’t overdo this and aggressively nod your head up and down as you’re talking. It has to be more subtle, and for example only around the main point of each statement, sort of like a verbal underlining of the key selling arguments.
Control your emotions to not escalate heated situations
Whenever things get heated in a situation or argument, we tend to make it worse by letting our emotions rule our behavior. The way to actually de-escalate conflicts and even solve them, is to improve your ability to regulate your emotions.
This is easier said than done, but try to be more aware of your automatic behaviors, such as lashing out, or getting defensive. Instead, try taking a deep a breathe, truly listen to the other person, don’t take what they say so personally, and think carefully before you speak.
If you think someone doesn’t like you – ask to borrow a pen
We’ve all had a classmate or colleague who we just know doesn’t like us, for no apparent reason. If you want to change that, to make working together more pleasant, just ask to borrow something small and significant, like a pen.
They will give it you, because social customs dictate it’s rude to say no, and it will trick their brain into thinking you’re not so bad after all. This impression is then further improved when you give the pen back (definitely don’t forget this part!).
How to get someone to stop talking
If you find yourself talking with someone who just won’t let you get a single word in, try dropping something (that won’t break, like keys). It will break their train of thought and make them pause for at least a second, which is long enough for you to take control of the conversation and say what you wanted.
This achieves your goal without awkwardly trying to talk over the other person until they stop, or even worse, tell them they need to let you talk…
Improve your grades with classical music
Scientific studies have proved that studying while listening to classical music, or any music without lyrics, improves you academic results. It seems as if our memory works better when attached to an experience or mood, and melodies can offer that connection.
Music with lyrics, on the other hand, can be very distracting as your brain will almost inevitably pay attention to the words, and you might even start singing along in your head (or out loud).
Flinch when negotiating, to get your way
Whether you’re negotiating the salary for a new job, or the price of a second hand car you’re interested in buying, flinch whenever you hear the first offer.
This will immediately signal to the other person’s subconscious that you’re appalled by the terrible offer, which is likely to make them adjust the price or salary offer to something better. Saying “that’s a terrible offer!” instead, won’t work as well. That reads as overt criticism to the other person’s conscious mind, which is likely to cause a defensive response.
Colors affect us – use that to your advantage
Colors such as purple and blue have a calming effect, so they are good choices for a bedroom or therapist’s office. Warmer colors on the other hand, like orange, yellow and red, are more aggressive and communicate stronger feelings.
So wearing a bold yellow dress to a date, can make you seem more warm and passionate. They also trigger hunger, so make sure to include these colors in the interior design if you’re opening a restaurant!
Whisper to make someone else whisper
This is a funny yet innocent way to manipulate someone into whispering to you. No matter the situation or topic, if you lean in and whisper something to someone – they will mimic your behavior and whisper back automatically.
This gets extra hilarious if you whisper something completely random, like “do you prefer Italian food or French?”, as they will whisper their answer to you. Just don’t do this with your boss, or in an inappropriate setting.
When you feel stressed or anxious – write
Life can be stressful at times. Problems, real and imagined, can cause us a lot of anxiety, which then negatively influences our everyday life. It might sound like a cliche, but writing down your worried thoughts and feelings does help.
It doesn’t even have to be a long, ambitious journal entry where you pour your heart out. Just dotting down a few sentences about what’s currently weighing on your mind, will help your brain let go of those worries for a while, so you can focus on other things.
Change your posture to boost your confidence
Something as simple as good posture can drastically improve every aspect of your life, both in the personal and the professional realm. When you consciously remind yourself to straighten up and hold your head a little higher, you exude more confidence – and remind yourself to also more confident.
This is called a power language. It affects the impression people get of you, from bosses to potential romantic partners, increasing your chances of more professional and personal success.
Use pavlovian conditioning to suss out who likes you
Ivan Pavlov was a Russian physiologist, and he’s known for discovering what’s called classical or pavlovian conditioning. It essentially means learning through association. For example, as Pavlov did, ringing a bell and giving a dog a treat will make it associate the bell with treats.
You can use this to figure out if someone likes you. Smile or compliment them every time they say or do a certain thing. If they like you, and really want that smile or compliment, they will subconsciously start saying or doing that thing more often.
Use the word “because” when requesting something
Whenever you ask someone for something you want, try including the word “because” in your request. This little word has a strong psychological effect on our brain.
Our brain is wired to want to make sense of things, and the word “because” makes it think there is an objective, solid reason behind what you’re requesting, and therefore the person is more likely to do it. This works even if there is no good reason, and you’re just lazily trying to get someone else to run your errands.
Rephrase what someone just said to make them feel validated
People want to be heard and feel validated. When they get that need met by you, they will like and respect you more. So, one easy way to make someone feel validated, is to simply rephrase what they say back to them. This proves to them you truly listened and took in what they said.
Everyone likes someone who pays attention enough to actually remember what they say. People with great social skills do this a lot, and people with great social skills have more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
